Tinder Do’s and Don’ts

Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love. ― Mandy Hale

Every time I tell people that I met Vincent online, I always get questions like “How the hell did you find him?”. Not all men online as idiots and want to stick their junk everywhere with the right swipe. When I met my boyfriend, I was not even thinking I would meet someone I could be serious with even though my profile was specific about what I wanted. All I got were men trying to get at me because they are in SA for a short time and want to have a good time.

I did go on a few dates, met amazing people whom were amazing friends until they moved countries and communication dies. I met annoying people and some whom we just did not connect but that is just exactly what you sign up for. Here are my Do’s and Don’ts of Tinder for people who want to at least try find the “right” person.


  • Always be specific about what you are looking for. There will be people who will text you even though they can’t give you what you are looking for. Just be calm.
  • Never compromise or waste your time. Greet and ask what the person is looking for, straight up.
  • Show your personality through your pictures.
  • A line from a movie always helps with knowing you without asking what kind of a person you are.
  • Start the conversation if you want, honestly no one has time to play chicken with the other.
  • Be your authentic self. At least they’ll know who they are getting themselves into.
  • I added that books make the best gift or wine and that is a good conversation starter.
  • Always suggest a public place, where you know you’ll be seen by others as a meeting point in case you disappear.
  • Friendships first are better than f*cking then dating.


  • Don’t expect a lot of positive things or men to come out of tinder.
  • Especially for black women, there are a lot of white men out there who want to have a girl waiting for them in every country so stay away from the “In S.A for a couple of months”.
  • Some of these men just want to be experimental about black women so also, be very careful.
  • Again, don’t compromise on what you are looking for. There will be people texting you to hook-up and you think they are hot but they are just as annoying as all the ones you want to avoid.
  • Don’t be too available. Come on, we all have lives but don’t be too scarce either.
  • Don’t be scared to ask for a number. Politely so.
  • Your exes are your exes, this is a new friendship/what can be a relationship so put your past aside and get to know people.
  • Don’t forget that Tinder is not only or dating, you can make good friends.
  • Don’t lie to people about who you are and where you at. You’ll be found out (this happened some time last year before I met my boyfriend). It was like a movie and a funny story actually.

So ladies and gents, I hope this helps and happy hunting I guess. Tinder is not for everyone. It might work for you but not for your friend or the next person. Always be responsible as well.

Do you have any Tinder stories you would like to share? Comment on this post, I would like to hear it all.

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